Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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