i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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