Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
