I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
