i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize