So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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