just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
a search helicopter?!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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