if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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