I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
