She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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