i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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