I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
