she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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