If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize