I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
