I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
