He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
that may or may not have been my penis.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
