just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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