She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
