Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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