this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
