I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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