UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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