Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
