I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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