Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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