I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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