thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
