He had one of those small greek statue penises
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
