I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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