i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
