I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
