I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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