member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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