i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
