Porn is love you can see.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
