The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
