she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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