How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Sorry about my life...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
