wake up i wanna do it froggy style
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
