i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
