You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
