My cat gives me a boner
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How does one acquire holy water?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
