I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Randomize
