Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
