hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Houston, we have a blender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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