You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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