lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
