I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
we should paint friendship bongs
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