drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
