If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
