she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
