I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
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I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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