Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
