dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
