You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
