Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
