Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
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I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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