i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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