What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
