Quick, to the slutcave!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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