so that wasnt chicken after all
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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