just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I am available for nakedness
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
