I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She's the barista slut.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
