He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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