I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
