I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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