I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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