NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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