I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
