i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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