I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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