In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
